On January 30th, I had an appointment to close on a house I was in the process of buying. I never made it to that appointment. Today I posted a video explaining why. I talk about my experience purchasing a home, why I was buying a house, and what ultimately led me to cancel my contract, two days before closing.
I wouldn’t call myself a “know it all” but when it comes to me, my life, and what I want for my future, I was absolutely a “know it all.” One thing, I knew for sure, was that I had to buy a house by the time I was 25. Why? To prove to myself that I didn’t need a man to get what I want. Despite the countless influences in my life encouraging me to find a man that could provide me with the life I always dreamt of – I wanted to be different, independent, and one step ahead of the curve. May sound admirable, but don’t confuse feminism with pride.
Pride put me and my “know it all” self on a pedestal and controlled my every decision as I worshiped the being that I one day could become, sans a man or even God. Pride put God in a box under my bed, and let me believe that I was in control of my own life.
Thankfully, God gets jealous (Exodus 20:4-5) and he wanted to live in this home I was creating for myself. Ultimately, God showed up, like He always does, and shed light on a couple of areas in my life that needed intense intervention and attention.
First, the Lord wanted to protect me from a life of loneliness. He desires that I live in community and buying this house would only support my reclusive lifestyle even more. God wanted to love me through people.
Secondly, God wanted me to experience what it really looks like to trust Him. He could see my heart and mind were in a constant state of exhaustion. Had I ever truly trusted God? Made a decision without having 5 backups? Made a decision that left me disappointed and with nowhere to go? Had I really ever listened to God? Wait, how do I listen to God? Looks like I had somethings to figure out that were a little more important than the shade of my wood floors…
Third, He wanted back into my house and my heart. He wants to be my ultimate provider so I could take the pressure off of myself. To be independent is a good thing but to be dependent on the Lord, is even better. God wanted to be the ultimate source of love, affection, and support I was deep down, yearning for.
In this video, I recap the whole experience and the blessing that came from one of the most difficult decisions of my life. Since being in Dallas, I feel so blessed. My family is here, I have two KILLER roomies, making new friends, and I’ve really enjoyed my church – I even went alone a couple of times and that is saying a lot for me! lol.
So, here’s to God creating a life for me in Dallas.
Outfit deets below!
Photo credit: Angie Garcia